Jenn Layton Annable

Jenn Layton Annable

Writing: life, research and things that grow.

Category: Uncategorized

  • To my amazing friend

    To my amazing friend

    One of my friends is a very special person, who is beautiful, kind and hides her ability, talent and light away at times.

    I read something when I went on retreat that made me think of her, straight away and although these aren’t my words, they say exactly what I want to better than I ever could.

    I love you – you are so amazing.

    What if there was no need to change?

    No need to transform yourself

    into someone who is more compassionate, more present, more loving or wise?

    How would this affect all the places in your life where you are endlessly trying to be better?

    What if the task is simply to unfold?

    To become who you already are in your essential nature,

    gentle, compassionate and capable of living fully and passionately present?

    What if the question is not

    “Why am I so infrequently the person that I want to be?”

    But, why do I so infrequently want to be the person that I really am?

    How would this change what you think you have to learn?

    What if becoming who and what you truly are happens not

    through striving and trying

    but by recognising and receiving the people, places and practices

    that are for us the warmth of encouragement that we need to unfold?

    How would this shape the choices that you make about how to spend today?

    What if you know that the impulse to move in a way that creates beauty in the world

    Will arise from deep within

    And guide you every time you simply pay attention

    and wait?

    How woul this shape your stillness and your movement?

    Your willingness to just follow the impulse

    to just let go

    and dance?

     

     

     

  • July in Photos

    A few moments in July, from the point of view of my camera…

    A self purchased birthday present of Godiva chocolates
    A treat to myself after I quite smoking – Godiva chocolates
    A cheeky sneak across the landing to dad's room.
    A tired monkey asleep in daddy’s bed
    Strange wrestler wall art
    We tried and love Bodega in Derby, a new South American canteen
    Sweet smelling and even better tasting onions
    Onions from the allotment.
    Lovely new turquoise pumps
    New shoes, a bargain from a local charity shop expedition
    Brainstorming personalised care
    Thinking about what personal health budgets can offer people with long term conditions.
    My little helper at home, Mr. Big Ears
    You see lots of pictures of cat assistants in suitcases, but not many rabbits…
    A cheeky monkey in a dinosaur suit visits Nottingham Wolatton Hall
    The mummy-raptor is spotted at the Chinosuars in Nottingham – great photo opportunity
    Does my foot look big in this?
    A fantastic experiential learning solution to keep kids busy waiting in a queue.
    Healthy as hell
    Paleo breakfast with homemade salad
    Derby underpass art
    Local graffiti discovered on a bike ride – this was the clean stuff
  • Guy Evans Artist

    Guy Evans Artist

    A great friend of mine (and amazing artist to boot) is a chap called Guy Evans. We met through life classes he ran in Derby several years ago, which I attended first as a pupil and then as a life model.

    I built Guy’s website for him whilst on a stay in the Crisis House in October 2015 and we have worked together privately on and off for a while since then.

    Guy surprised me with a simply amazing painting last week which made me quite emotional.

    Guy has drawn me a lot, but has always said that he strives to demonstrate the person as an image rather than creating a realistic representation. Given the emotional turmoil I have undergone since we have known each other, it felt like someone had reached inside and pulled out the whirlwind that exists there unseen.

    The loops and whorls reminded me of hooping but also of the lack of identity I have experienced.

    I am so grateful to have been the subject and inspiration for such an insightful piece of work. Although I would not go as far as calling myself a muse (but it does have such a great ring to it), yet, some of the positive feelings I am getting from seeing this are allowing me to explore the emotional relationship between an artist and model when it develops along an emotional spectrum.

    Thank you Guy xxxx

    Guy Evans Artist image

     

  • Weeping Window, Derby Silk Mill remembers World War 1

    I managed to visit Derby Museum Trust’s Silk Mill installation of the ‘Weeping Window’, created from poppies made in Derbyshire and originally installed at the ‘Blood Swept Lands and Seas of Blood’ featured at the Tower of London. These photos were taken the morning it was due to be removed, and I rode into town for 7.30am in order to get them.

    If you didn’t see it, the installation was removed at the end of July 2017, but I guess the individual poppies will be stored and may perhaps be exhibited somewhere else in the future.

    Weeping window and gate

    Weeping window Silk Mill Tower

    Weeping window poppy detail

  • Reproductive rights: what do they mean for disabled women?

    I’ve just received a great write up on the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists event that I attended at the end of June. My comments in the group discussion were noted in it, and the discussion it prompted was captured far better than I was able to myself.

    “Another attendee of the conference spoke about being on the autism spectrum and the way in
    which for some ASD women, having children may exacerbate disability in the sense that a condition
    such as sensory overload may heighten. She asked the panel about their knowledge of experiences such
    as the one she described. Dr Frances Ryan responded and emphasised the need to increase awareness
    about the varied birth experiences of disabled women, including those of women who are susceptible
    to sensory overload and similar conditions. Women’s disabilities may deeply impact the quality of their
    birth experience itself, and scholars as well as medical professionals need to be more attuned to that.

    Professor Claire de Than contributed to the discussion, noting the need to re-evaluate disability
    equality documents. Often, many of the assumptions in such documents need to be critically assessed
    and challenged. They are written for people with disabilities by people without them, and so need to
    be constantly challenged in light of that fact. Eleanor Lisney agreed with Professor de Than and
    additionally noted, in response to the attendee’s comments about ASD women, that when thinking
    about disabled women in the reproductive rights space there is frequently too much focus on physical
    disabilities in particular, at the expense of recognizing the experiences of women with other types of
    disabilities as well.”

    The full PDF review is available if you would like to get a complete summary of this thought provoking event: reproductive-rights-and-disability-event-write-up-final

  • NHS England Personalisation Peer Leader videos

    To promote the next Peer Leadership Academy several members of the spring academy gave short interviews about our experiences of development over the time we have spent together, as well as personal health budgets more generally.

    I spent a lot of time, intensive time, with Jon, Robyn and Andrew and the other participants and have learned an immeasurable amount about myself in this process.  I hope that these videos give a small taste of the work we have done together and the positive impact we hope to create in the future

    I would urge anyone with experience of health personalisation or who receives a personal health budget to apply to take part in the next academy. It really is an amazing experience.

    Click here for more information.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCdDI2AjGa8

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LulV_pVVYLc

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMM_1M_Fp98&t=21s

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSAeWAPqXxM

  • Loch Ness? Who knew?

    Loch Ness? Who knew?

    Mylo sitting in the back of the car “Mummy, can I please have some more Loch Ness?”

    Me driving and mystified “Loch Ness?”

    Mylo, “Yes, Loch Ness.”

    Me, “What about Loch Ness?”

    Mylo, getting stroppy, “Yes, LOCH NESS, you know…”

    Me, getting worried “Mylo, Loch Ness is a deep lake in Scotland with a monster living in it. I really don’t know what you want with it.”

    Mylo, “LOCH NESS MUMMY! The thing daddy made the other day!”

    Me, “Aaahhh, Eton Mess! Yes of course we can have some babe.”

     

  • Peer Leadership Academy – Days 5 and 6 (and some other thoughts)

    Peer Leadership Academy – Days 5 and 6 (and some other thoughts)

    My cohort spent the last 2 days of the Peer Leadership Academy together on the 19th and 20th July.   I was feeling quite nervous because I was presenting my personal story and having been pretty busy, only got it finished the morning of the same day.

    Luckily for me, with all the presenting I had done in previous careers, once I was up the front I dropped into it quite naturally. It was still nerve-wracking as a number of the audience were people I hadn’t met before. I’ve always found a smaller group harder than a larger one, as you can see all the individual faces and it feels more personal. Despite rushing a bit towards the end I managed to fit everything in, and overall was pleased with the feedback that I got; fair comments all round.

    I don’t really want to write too much about the Academy beyond what I have spoken about so far. One of the lessons that I have learned this year is that things happen for a reason, and it’s really best to roll with them rather than try and analyse too much. I have come so far in the last six months and still have a little way to go.

    We found out yesterday that we have to move house; stressful, upsetting and an added difficulty with my studies and health. It was really hard to deal with at first. Just like being in hospital though, there was a good side (we have negated an extremely large cost and rid ourselves of some baggage from the past) but the downside is that we have to sell our house and move and we don’t really want to.

    This is the house my son had grown up in, His measurements are on the wall with his drawings next to them. Some things we can take with us, the memories, each other and our love, but you always leave something behind. Reflecting, I think that maybe in the same way that I am finally getting better, perhaps the move into a new house not associated with sickness and distress and all the conflict that came with it, is a positive step forwards again. God knows, Mark and I have come through some shit in the last 5 years and have somehow stayed together.

    When we moved to this house it wasn’t through choice, but we made the best of a bad situation. The alternative was bankruptcy.  We have made it our home since then and I will be sad to go, but now is the right time to let go, say goodbye and see where else we end up. From the Peer Academy, from our current house in Derby, and from sickness towards wellness.

    For anyone thinking of applying for the next Academy I would say that it has been one of the most rewarding things I have done since making a baby. I have met some amazing individuals, from the participants, as well as the organisers from Peoplehub, the fabulous Jo, Rita and Steph. You have to be open, aware and welcome challenges. I can’t tell you what you might get our personally, but if it’s as much as me it will be a great deal.

    The end of an experience and the beginning of a journey.

     

     

  • Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists – access to reproductive services for disabled women

    The venue was the college itself in London, a building lined with rather magisterial portraits of former alumni and professors.

    The conference covered all aspects of sexual and reproductive health, from sex education in schools, through to family planning and contraceptives, via pregnancy, labour and birth, with some stop-offs around the menopause and also sex workers for disabled peoples’ personal fulfilment.

    I received the original invitation via the RCOG’s Women’s Voices Network, a collaborative alliance between the college and women who use relevant services to ensure the work and training provided by the college is appropriate and useful.

    The range of speakers was excellent, the content equally thought provoking and exciting.

    First up was equality and human rights lawyer Claire de Than whose fascinating work, supporting individuals to their right to sexual expression, or ‘fun’ as it was coined for the sake of blushes, was extremely funny as Claire is such a great speaker and sad in equal measures, given the indignities disabled and vulnerable people suffer to achieve personal intimate fulfilment.

    Claire’s ability to translate complex law into humane and engaging narrative riveted me to the spot for the entire duration of her talk.

    We all take the Declaration of Human Rights and the advantage bestowed by the European Court of Justice for granted. The work outlined by Claire really expressed just how far we have come in the last thirty years. It is easy to forget when you see how far much we still have to achieve.

    Dr Jane Dickson (such a great twitter handle), up next, works as a Sexual and Reproductive Health Community Gynecologist. She had a great warm personal approach and made a dry subject, that of the choice of contraceptives available,  funny whilst staying on-topic. The choice and innovation possible in family planning stunned even me. Have you ever heard of a nuvaring? What a great idea!

    The speaker that was especially pleasing for me to see what Alison Lapper, the artist with no arms or legs, whose naked pregnant body was created into a thirty foot high marble sculpture for the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square. Alison was also featured as a disabled single parent in the BBC series ‘Child of our Times‘, first broadcast in the late nineties.

    Alison’s disability and being a parent were hugely controversial at the time.

    The bias and ignorance she encountered from health and social care staff about her ability to care for her son Parys were almost beyond belief. When I was really struggling with Mylo, I used to read chapter of the book based on the television series as there were some fantastic stories and images of the challenges that Alison had overcome in her quest towards successful parenting. It kept me going a lot of the time, as positive role models of disabled parents don’t really exist anywhere.

    At the end of the individual sessions a panel formed with several other women, including some of the current leadership of the college itself. Questions from the audience were answered, the only audience participation until this moment, I put a question to the whole room at this point, rather than just the speakers about if anyone had any knowledge or experience of the needs of neurodivergent women in relation to their disability and accessing sexual health or reproductive services.

    You could have heard a pin drop.

    One of the speakers had an Autistic women speak at her own event previously (I forget the detail) however this was much more broad in its application, including her experience of sexuality and disability as well as lived experience of autism.

    Given the invitation was extended via the women’s network I was expecting more of an open forum approach to the event.I was a little surprised that there was less audience contribution and participation. That being said, the quality of the speakers was absolutely excellent. The closing comments, given by the event’s partner organisation, the British Pregnancy Advisory Service, acknowledged the event was just the start of quite a long neglected area for the RCOG. They have made an excellent start in rectifying this, and I hope and look forward to any other opportunities I might have to visit and learn more again in the future.

  • June’s photos

    A selection of my goings-on from last month, June 2017.

    Little m and I had a fab’ week in Bridlington during the hot weather.
    Apparently the shopping lamas are on patrol in Nottingham…
    Harvest bounty from the co-produced allotment starts this month.
    Out of this world ice cream from Chin Chin’s in Camden.

    Vintage mile high styling in looking round aircraft at the East Midlands Aerodrome

    Cute feet and new writing emerges on the beach.
    The fabulous Jeanne Booth and Emma Torrance of Think at Cobden Chambers in Nottingham caught deep in conversation with Lunar21’s Graham Bennett.
    Deep purple of the foxgloves in full bloom.
    My first taste of double shelled broad beans. Hard work but definitely worth the result.